MY KOREAN DELI by
Ben Ryder Howe
My rating: 3.5 of
5 stars
Once upon a time I read almost exclusively fiction. Lately, I have found myself reading more non-fiction titles, and for the most part, I have enjoyed them. One of my favorite non-fiction varieties is food-related offerings: memoirs of food critics, explorations of ecological or historical aspects of the current food supply, books on the synergy between culture and cuisine, are just a few of the sort of books I devour (no pun intended, well maybe). When I saw the publicity for
My Korean Deli, I thought it would fit in well with my love of all things foodie, and I was right.
For those who live in large urban areas, the “Korean deli” is a ubiquitous fact of life. These stores are notorious for carrying everything from staples such as milk, bread and beer (surely a staple for some), obscure spices, jarred vegetables and tinned meats, to non-edibles such as flowers, toilet paper and crazy glue. The hours are long, the profit margin is small, and the work can sometimes be dangerous. An unlikely career choice for someone who graduated from an elite American university, but it is behind such a counter that the author, Ben Ryder Howe, a former editor at The Paris Review, found himself, as he recounts in this funny, poignant memoir.
Howe and his wife, a former corporate attorney at a prestigious law firm, are living with her parents (the Paks) in Staten Island when the couple agrees to help her mother purchase and run a deli in Brooklyn. This expedition into unfamiliar territory proves to be funny, downright odd, and at times, quite sad. Howe’s descriptions of customers who freak out when he changes the location of the bran muffins and the lottery aficionados who are the bane of his existence, had me laughing out loud. So too, his description of the frat house atmosphere that was the working environment of The Paris Review, as personified in the founder and Big Man on Campus George Plimpton himself, are hilarious. But this book is not a mere collection of amusing anecdotes.
There is a real culture study in this pages. Howe classifies himself as a Boston Brahmin, the product of the uptight childhood that image implies. As someone who admits to living his life by the rules embodied in Strunk and White, Howe is bemused by the experience of living in a multi-generational house where extended family constantly comes and goes, no one knocks before entering bedrooms, and people speak in decibels slightly below rock concert levels. The additional dichotomy between the life Howe leads as part of the highbrow literary world in the rarefied world of Manhattan’s Upper East Side, and that of the Staten Island working world of the immigrant community, is a revealing tale of two cities. In that regard, Plimpton is as much a part of this story as the Pak family; Howe paints a portrait of a man who never quite grew up, and the Peter Pan phenomenon that is Plimpton is brought into even further relief when juxtaposed with the hardworking ethos of Howe’s Korean in-laws.
When the family decides to sell the deli because of his mother-in-law’s declining health, Howe is surprised to find he actually misses the business. In reflecting on his journey, Howe begins to appreciate how owning the deli changed him in fundamental ways. Once socially awkward, he is forced to learn how to relate to strangers more easily. His need to control his environment must give way in the face of a daily existence where he never knows who will walk in the store (there are days of naked customers), or what will happen next. As a result, he emerges more confident and accepting of who he is, idiosyncrasies and all. This book is beautifully written, not surprisingly, given the author’s literary background.
My Korean Deli was a satisfying read, with more substance than I expected. It will make you laugh, and make you think. Not a bad combination.
I received an advance reader's edition of My Korean Deli from the publisher, Henry Holt and Company. My Korean Deli was released in March of 2011.
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